Every now and again someone sends us an email touting a service they claim will boost the visibility of our apps on the App Store. These offers almost always involve some sort of pay-for-review scam. Today, this little gem popped up in my inbox:

Hello dear Developer
We have noticed  that your  is on Mac Store is  doing well but it has really great potential.
But there are some marketing steps that you can perform to make your app promotion campaign more successful.
We can offer you various marketing services such as: Mac Store reviews, Submission to major review sites, PR, placement of your app within the top  app charts.
If you are interested feel free to contact us at any time.
Visit our web page for more information.

And this is what I sent back as a response:

Dear Spammer,

Three things:
1) If you are offering any kind of PR, marketing, or other promotional services, you might want to consider using proper grammar in your solicitation. Just sayin’.
2) When you claim to have “noticed” someone’s product, mentioning the name of said product is always a good idea. It makes the recipient feel special.
3) You might want to consider a service that is a little more ethical than selling bogus reviews. Not only is it against Apple’s App Store guidelines and can lead to (much deserved) sanctions against developers who participate in such practices, but it is also an indicator of poor hygiene and bad taste in music. You do want to get rid of that nasty case of halitosis and all your Britney Spears CDs, don’t you?

Kevin Hamilton
Binary Formations, LLC

I’ll publish their reply if I get one.